An Education

An Education


Let me begin by saying--Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About A Boy, Fever Pitch, A Long Way Down) is one of the greatest writers of all time. This movie, whose screen play was written by Hornby, is breathtakingly amazing. Some movies feed you Hollywood bull, fake dreams, and anything but reality. Hornby, in all of his work, shows the trueness of life. He is honest about what we live in, how we live, and what people do to each other. He is stunning.

This movie made me want to go to grad school tomorrow. I want to be an amazing writer. I want to change people's lives through the stories I share. I want to write about life--it's beauty and heartbreak, it's raw and relentless ache. I want to show people that life is hard--and beautiful.

I need to focus.

If I am a writer then I need to write! There's no getting around that. If I want to know about Chaucer, Blake, and Poe; Dickens, Achebe, and MacDonald then I had better read them, not just WANT to know, want to read, I had better DO it.

Movies like this light a fire in me. They make me want to live my dreams.

I want to write stories like this.

Gone With The Wind

Emily: That books is supposed to be just like Gone With The Wind.

Dawn: ugh.... i hate Gone With The Wind

Andrew: How could you hate Gone With The Wind???

Dawn: (in hysterically gross southern accent) oh Rhett! Rhett! .... it's just disgusting

Andrew: I've never understood why you hate the south so much.

Dawn: I wish I had been born anywhere but the south.


-- it's true. All true.

magic

i raked the yard tonight with lightening bugs. They danced around me and made the night magical. Thank you little beautiful bugs you make my life better.

Where did you say again?

I had two deep and fabulous conversations today. Both with wonderful friends--Eric and Lauren. We all have similar hearts--I feel.

Well, the conversations consisted of "What in the world are we doing with our lives?" ... and honestly... none of us know.

It's a strange and stupid thing about growing up where no one really knows what the heck they are doing or where they even want to go. We have vague thoughts and random notions... but nothing definite.

One of my friends (Kat) said that I was fearless. I was talking to her about moving to London, and she said I could do it because I have no fear in life. --NO FEAR IN LIFE?-- Are you serious? I suppose the only fear I have in life is missing out on the beautiful possibility of deep and caring relationships.

Right now I'm bouncing between ideas of Seattle, North Carolina, and London for grad school. I have no idea where I will go. None of us do--we just end up there all the same anyway. I want to do what I love. I want to be loved. I want to make a difference. I want to change the world. I want to write. I want to dance, and sing, and be sexy. I want to dare to be different, and laugh a lot. Dream big and keep secrets. I want to raise amazing children and love my husband well.

See... I know what I want to do. Now.... where.... where should I go do it?

Gym Survivor and Book Junkie

Good news!!! I have been going to the gym faithfully (so far!). And I'm loving it. As bad as it sounds -- I love the personalized TVs they have on the elipticals and tred mills. it sounds so information hog or too "I can't do anything without some form of entertainment"... but honestly--I Dream of Genie, Friends, and The Office really helped get me through my hot, sweaty, red faced, breathless hour and a half at the Y today. I could have done it without them, but it was lovely (seeing as how I NEVER watch TV anyway).

I'm just not used to it. College rules your life for so long you forget how to be normal and watch TV and stuff.

So, the gym is good.


On another note--

I have bought an insane amount of books since school let out (and having a full time job helped! haha). The sad thing is I don't have enough time to read them! Which makes me really sad, but I have stopped going to Books A Million because of this very reason. I probably haven't even read half the books I own. This doesn't make me mad at myself. I buy books like some girls buy shoes or purses or dresses, earrings, whatever. Books are my thing. Here's proof.



On my night stand are seventeen books. You obviously can't see all of them here. and i'm not counting the journal on top or the notepad hidden in the back. i am a book junkie. and i love it. it makes my life lovely.

a good gym omen

I joined the YMCA today... again.

I worked out for 25 minutes on the eliptical. 1.75 miles. 200 calories.

I call this a great step in the right direction---that was---until the power shut off and thunder shook the building. I finished the 8 minutes left of my work out (what a short work out anyway!). I ran outside (i was in a hurry to get a dog inside---DUM DUM DUMMM--Dawn the Dog Saver to the rescue). I run outside and it's raining so hard all I see is gray. I could have taken a lovely moment to blissfully notice my surroundings, but the water filling my shoes was distracting.

I ran out from under the awning only to jump back under when hail started pelting me on the head. I braced myself and shot straight for my car.

Luckily the dog was fine-- not fried to a crisp from lightening or bleeding from fallen trees and hail.

I find it a good omen. My first day back at the gym and a power outage, hail, and trees down everywhere.

pick it up girl!

i have noticed that my blogging has seriously gone down hill... one of the things on my "life list" it so be faithful to a blog... and i really would like it to be this one. haha.

but seeing as how my internet has been on the fritz for like the past two weeks it's no wonder i haven't been exactly faithful with filling the world in on my thoughts and life .... okay... maybe not the world--i have only two followers (and i am deeply touched by you guys, thank you.)

i promise to be a better blogger. for several reasons.

1) i need to write, and this is a simple way to make me write
2) it's a way to organize my thoughts
3) there's this strange notion that possibly my life could be interesting enough to make a book about, or make a movie about, or have millions of followers reading me!!! (this is thanks to Julie & Julia... which i still have a hard time believing, by the way) this honestly will probably never happen, but hey --it could.

For encouragement on how to make your life beautiful and dynamic as any crazy awesome movie plot read Donald Miller's new book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. it's great.

London?

So, this is a bookish thought and a life confession--I'm considering grad school in London. And I'm reading this lovely book about England.

I don't know what school. I don't know how and I don't know when... but I know that I'm considering it.

There's something about that country that makes me want to live there. Could it be that I am probably around 60 to 70 percent English? That I understand their humor best? That I want to walk in castles? That instead of touring Charleston with buildings maybe 300 years old I want to walk the streets of London that are put down in history books and fabulous works of fiction that have changed lives and inspired people?

It's true--partly I want to go to London because I'm a romantic. Not in the love sense, but in the sense that I see the beauty of life in everything. I'd much rather have a building that has gothic architecture because it was built in the medieval period rather than built inspired by gothic architecture. I'd rather have a church designed and crafted in a country for a purpose and a time and it has lasted hundred of years rather than a church built to look like the church from England so the Puritans wouldn't feel so homesick. Do we realize how much we have copied from them? I don't even think I realize it.

Anyway, not to put America down--we came here for freedom and all. All this to say--I've never been really satisfied here. And maybe I won't be satisfied in London either, but ... I am considering it.